[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Friday, October 29th, 2004|
Not dead, just resting.
I'm back from Houston. Hellacious trip.
I was pretty sick, flying just decimates your body's resistance to stuff.
Anyway, I am back and feeling somewhat better.
It's good to be home:)
|Thursday, October 21st, 2004|
I am tired. I did an insane amount of stuff today.
I am not completly prepared for this trip, but I am as prepared as I am going to be.
I am behind on my LJing and I am going to be sans-internet until late Monday, so I will have to catch up next week.
I have to be up in 3 1/2 hours.
G'night. Current Mood: tired
|Wednesday, October 20th, 2004|
I leave for Houston early Thurday morning, which means I have a ton of things to do tomorrow. I didn't get anything done today because my dental appointment wound up being alot longer, more expensive and more stressfull than anticipated. I was in the chair having terrible things done to me for about two and a half hours. I tried to run some errands after that but really did not get far. All I did accomplish was to find a copy of Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow so I can play it on the plane.
I have just now started packing, which is difficult because I have various logistical issues including needing to bring a significant amount of food with me. I can't tolerate most food. I have to take pills twice a day to tolerate food enough to not be constantly sick, like I was for three years before my problem was diagnosed. Anyway, not going to go into long, distgusting detail here, but I will mention that the problem has a purely physical origin. Anyway, looks like I am going to live off pretzels, graham crackers and tinned tuna fish unless I can squeeze a grocery run into all the other stuff I need to get done. Current Mood: tired
|Monday, October 18th, 2004|
I had a good weekend. I made a general announcement that I was bored and needed plans for the weekend, and wound up with more offers to go do stuff than I had time to do. Which was nice:)
It was good to get out of the house; I'd been watching way too much election coverage.
I spent most of Saturday with a guy who likes me, which is weird. I am not used to people being interested in me, but recently there have been a couple. *looks confused* Anyway, we get along really well and I love spending time with him. Wierdly, I'd be more attracted to him if he didn't seem to good to be true. He is a fairly femme, bi boy with several of the interests as me. We are also both east coast transplants to the NW. It will be intersting to see how this progresses.
I have literally gone years without any ever being interested in me, but suddenly there are about 5 people who I think are. 3 I know for sure are, and two more I suspect. I guess part of it is that out here people are far less likely to be wierded out by the fact that I am bi.
|Sunday, October 17th, 2004|
I'm an idiot.
I am bad with names.
When I know people with multiple names ... I usally don't have a problem. I know I am bad with names so I pay carefull attention to *not* mix people up.
I just replied to an LJ comment and almost starting talking to someone via IM thinking he was the person I am had spent all of yesterday with with. He isn't. Fortunitly I don't think the comment make makes it obvious and I caught myself before IMing.
Yeah, mixing up the guy I like and am sleeping with and a guy who is after me would be bad.
I had an interesting weekend. I got to know someone alot better and had sex with him twice. More on that later.
Anyway, in case it wasn't already obvious, this is a second LJ.
I have a 'public' LJ that is mostly for keeping track of people I know in 'real life' and making plans.
This is the journal where I actually talk about my life and whats going on.
|Friday, October 15th, 2004|
I voted today:)
It is weird to be done with my voting while the rest of the country still has weeks to go.
While I like being able to sit down with the accompaning booklets of information on candiates and measures and pro and con arguments, I really am against the lack of secret ballot.
I met with my new flute teacher. She is so much better at both playing and teaching than my prevoious instructor. Now I just need to get used to all the adjustments she is having me make.
I really wish I had plans this weekend. I need to get out of the house more.
|Thursday, October 14th, 2004|
What I did may have been completely unhelpful in the grand scheme of things, but I am so happy:)
Someone took the time and trouble to line a good part of the side of Glendoveer Golf Course with "Yes on 36" Signs. (Proposed State Constitutional Amendment to ban gay marriage). That area gets steep and they really stuck some up good high on the slope.
I went and ripped it all down in, probably 1/10 the time it took to put up.
I had people yelling at me, one waving a cell phone saying it was the police wanting to talk to me. A total of three cars took the time to yell at me.
One lady paced me in her car for a while yelling "This is America".
Anyway, I got home and called the police myself. The confirmed that taking politcal signs off of public property is completely legal and said they showed no record of anyone calling in a complaint on me.
I am so overly-pleased with myself right now. I volunteered all my info in case someone does get around to filing a complaint. Those signs just make me so angry. Those evil Yes-on-36ers have, somehow, convinced alot of voters that a 'No' vote amend our constitution to allow gay marriage and a 'Yes' keep the constituion from being amended. How they have gotten people to belive that ridiculous idea is beyond me. The 'Yes' people also have some voters convinced that, if the measure fails, homosexuality will have to be taught as natural in school. Current Mood: bouncy
|Wednesday, October 13th, 2004|
Did better practice today. Lots of scales. First good, solid practice in days.
Tomorrow I meet with a woman who is currently getting a Ph. D. in flute performance to see about getting lessons from her. I think she will be quite a change from my current overly zen, overly laidback teacher. My current teacher's philosophy is 'if it's hard don't do it'. She played a peice I am also working on last lesson and realized that, even though she has been playing for 20 years, she is not significantly better than I am.
I whinged to my poor voice teacher today like she was my therapist about, effectivly, firing my current flute teacher. I feel so bad and awkward, but I have just got to do it.
|Tuesday, October 12th, 2004|
I had a very unproductive day. My wrists were bothering me so I only played for about half an hour. *wince* However, I did find some fingerless gloves to wear while I am driving and other stuff to keep my wrists warm. I also picked up a book of flute solos from LOTR I'd ordered.
I actually played a bit while listening to Irish trad music on my headphones. I improv'ed on my flute on songs that didn't have flute parts. It was kinda fun:)
|Monday, October 11th, 2004|
Our first practice session went better than I expected. Although, I was expecting us to play more. We have a new member who thinks she knows the 'one true way' and 'one true setlist' of Irish Trad music. I think we might wind up doing alot of stuff 'her one true way' unless I really feel like butting heads with her. And I don't, I just want her to shut up so I can talk to the girl who is starting the band about how to do articulations and whatnot. Unfortunitly, the girl starting the band doesn't know much about Irish Trad (like that what songs are common and how to do things is *regional* and there is no one true way) and might just defer to her. *shrugs* Life. It's way to early to really worry about it one way or the other. One the whole a good, if short, practice. Current Mood: complacent
|State of my life
I am in my late twenties. I started working when I was 13 so I could be financially secure when I was older. I had just reached the place in life I'd always wanted, high quality of life, low expenses, secure enough that I would not have to worry too much about staying employed, etc. I've seen people get stuck working at horrible jobs for decades and see it just destroy them. Anyway, I had just accomplished my goals and was working at a part time job sufficent to cover my expenses. Then my life got kinda messy. First, I inherited enough money to make my hard work and long years of sacrifice to acheive my goals moot. Then my sister had premature twins about 2k miles away and I wound up needing to be down there every other week for three months. Then my Dad fell off a cliff and I had to go back east and help my Mom for a bit. (Dad recovered well, he was extremely lucky). Each time I got back I though I was going to be done with the trips for a while, would try to restart my life and then I would get an 11th hour phone call saying I needed to be elsewhere for even more dramatic reasons than the last trip. I lost my job, lost other job offers and pissed off the employment agency I'd been working with.
For the past two months I've supposedly been studying to become a real estate agent. I really feel guilty, but I've been mostly slacking. Ok, yes, I've been working since I was 13 and I have lots of money and I feel bad about slacking for two measely months? Bah, logic has no place here. I feel so bad that whenever I go to tackle my real estate studies I have to face what I slacker I've been so I've been avoiding that.
I moved to the west coast from the east almost two years ago. I am still not settled out here. I know some people but have no good friends. I am used to being part of a solid friendship group and am not dealing well. Since I am not working I am spending entirely too much time in my house.
Other stuff in my life: I am learning to play flute and spend 1-2 hours a day practicing. I am also studying music theory and voice. Actually, I am meeting someone today who is trying to start an Irish Trad band. Today she hears my playing for the first time ... we will see how this goes.
Anyway, my dream in life was to have a home of my own and be financially set enough so I could be a writer and so I could work on other creative endevours. But I feel I can't do that because it would be irresponsible. I am scared that my family will dislike me if I do 'wishwashy' stuff like that. In truth, none of them are fond of me anyway and I need to face that. I only see them at family gatherings (3-4 times a year down in San Diego) where I get no sleep because I always get stuck having to sleep on the couch in the living room and I am always sick because they won't let me eat the food I bring. I cave to peer pressure and eat thier cooking, knowing it will make me sick. They always say they made stuff I should be able to eat and I always wind up sick and shaking anyway. Or, we go out to restuarants for two, sometimes three course meals and I get to sit there hungry and watch them eat. That makes me cranky. So I am always sick, cranky, hungry and low on sleep when I am around them. They think I have become a bitter, negative person and barely tolerate me. Yet I 'have to, absolutely have to' go to San Diego every holiday. These days I try to avoid my family like the plague, which makes sonce because, like the plague, they make me sick!
Anyway, for anyone who is curious that is who I am and where I am at. Thank you and goodnight.
This is a journal I created to explore my sexuality a bit.
I really like cuddling and sexual touch and I just don't get enough darnnit;)
I also have some alternative interests that, while they wouldn't offend or squick any of my friends, I just feel better keeping my sexual explorations is a separate journal for now.
I like light bondage and I like spanking and mild pain during sex. I don't do pain as a disapline thing, I just like the stimulation of it.
Furries interest me. So I want to know a bit more about that and am using this as a way to do so.
I need to start making icons for this journal.
To tell you a bit more about me in general: I'm a geek. I like to collect books. I play Irish Traditional music on silver flute, and I don't completely suck at it.